Summer Love

Do you know the feeling that the perfect person for you is about to leave forever? Do you know how it feels to not tell that person how you truly feel for fears of getting hurt? Well, I don't, but I'm sure I can help.

First, don't tell them how you really feel. You're going your way, they're going their way. Let it be. Life isn't about making you feel happy with some other person. Life is all about how many members of the opposite (or same) sex you can have sex with. There probably isn't "The One" out there anyways, but there is an STD out there waiting for someone just like you. Besides, how can you feel that way about someone? The J. Geils Band had it right, love really does stink. No, really, it has quite the distinctive odor, it smells like stink bug mixed with skunk. Remember: Love is a four-letter word for a reason, my friends.

Second, why would you ever, ever tell someone how you truly feel? If you're a guy, what are you, the biggest wuss ever? Look, if you really want the girl, get a cool leather jacket, start smoking cigarettes, and call the girl the worst names you can think of. That says I care more than anything in the world. Teddy bears and flowers are so passe.

Third, if you think you might be in love, you need to get a hold of yourself. Have you thought about changing careers? I heard recluse is a good position for someone who might be in love. They're also hiring heart-broken mass murderers like crazy now. Either one of these positions are ripe for you if you are in love, so don't worry, life will go on. Well, that is if you don't go for the last option, Suicide Expert. You only need one day of training for that job.

Lastly, if you think you've found the perfect one, remember, perfect is sort of a relative word. Perfect can mean many things. If you don't believe me, check this out. See, I wasn't lying.

Now, I leave you with the lyrics to an aforementioned song:

Artist: The J. Geils Band Lyrics
Song: Love Stinks Lyrics

You love her
But she loves him
And he loves somebody else
You just can't win
And so it goes
Till the day you die
This thing they call love
It's gonna make you cry
I've had the blues
The reds and the pinks
One thing for sure

(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah
(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah
(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah
(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah

Two by two and side by side
Love's gonna find you yes it is
You just can't hide
You'll hear it call
Your heart will fall
Then love will fly
It's gonna soar
I don't care for any casanova thing
All I can say is
Love stinks

(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah
(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah
(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah
(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah

I've been through diamonds
I've been through minks
I've been through it all
Love stinks

(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah
(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah
(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah
(Love stinks)
Love stinks yeah yeah