The future's looking good

For some reason people are becoming really concerned about the future as of late. I'm not quite sure why, it seems many think that they have something to worry about. I've heard something about a new chapter in life, blah blah blah. Let me tell you something, don't think what the Man wants you to think. You've started nothing new. In fact, if you're going to school, you're doing just what the Man wants you to do. If you plan on going to school in the Fall, DON'T. If you do, you're only becoming part of the herd.

I say, go see the world. Nothing screams "I'm going to be successful later in my life" like going to Amsterdam, getting unbelievably high, then going to Germany to one of the state-run brothels for some dirty German sex. After you've done this, go to Italy and party it up with the recent World Cup winners. You'll get to have more dirty German sex. After you've done this, grab the nearest plane back to the states.

Ok, back in the states? Well, don't put that backpack away quite yet. Get a change of clothes, or not, whatever you like. Get that thumb out and see all this country has to offer by hitchhiking across this great nation. Now that you've stepped out onto that highway to nowhere, get into a van that looks like this. This guy will undoubtedly have the highest of morals.

Now that you've hitchhiked through the country, it's now time to get a cool cardboard sign. Come up with a nice catch-phrase for the front. Spend what you have left of any money on a sharpie, and write something like "I could've done whatever I wanted, but instead got high in Amsterdam and now want to do nothing. It was fun, and well worth it. So, uh, got any change?" This will let people know that you plan to do a lot with the money you get. Don't worry about missing out on the university experience, you'll make enough money to drink with the pros, just like any other good college student.

Now that you've got the keys to living the best life for a young rebel, what are you waiting for? Get out and experience life to it's fullest potential. Go on you crazy kids!