Dialouge 7: Mr. Johnson

On the off chance that someone who doesn't know Mr. Johnson reads this, Mr. Johnson was my English teacher in high school. He's the quintessential hardnosed teacher, and I'm sure if he stares at you right he can kill your soul.

G: Dean, Dean-O, you like my book?
J: It's almost crap, but it doesn't even get that good of a title
G: Wha?
J: It's a literary disaster. The character development is minimal at best, and how many times do you have to beat around the bush. If I've said it once I've said it a million times, say what you mean and get to the point
G: Well, I thought I did a good job
J: If you were one of my sophomores I'd tell you to go punch your old English teachers for failing you so miserably.
G: Y'know, it's a little bit harder than it looks to write an entire book
J: Yeah, well it was even harder to read. Ever heard of a complete paragraph? It shouldn't be that difficult to have a complete thought, though with you I'm sure it is
G: Well -
J: Well what? Your writing abilities suck. Deal with it. Look, at least you don't have a job where you have to write; if you did, well heaven help us all [Hears sniffles] Are you crying? I'm just giving criticism, deal with it
G: Well, you're being kind of harsh
J: Look, if it'll make you feel better I'll give you a check-minus instead of the F- you were going to have
G: ME DAMNIT! I HATE CHECK MINUS!
J: Yeah, well I hate reading crap posing as literature
G: [Whispers] Bite me
J: I would, but you take up the entire universe. I'm going to go and recover from this crap. I'll go read a 7th grade English paper; it should be better than this Bible thing you gave me
G: Hey, what's with these lines on the margins?
J: Oh, that's just all of your mistakes. You notice how the margin is almost all pen? Yeah, that's because you suck. Goodbye