One way to raise a roof

So I just read that the New York doctor who blew himself up in his house has died. I must say I am shocked at this development. Usually, me, some TNT and a match get along just fine at a house party. I hope before he died someone reminded him he didn't have the proper insurance to file a claim.

The good news is the man didn't have to spend thousands of dollars on remodeling. I'm assuming this guy has always been the "do-it-yourself" type. Of course this douche left the job half-done, much like that faucet he said he'd fix 6 years ago. It still drips, idiot!

I definitely support his reasoning behind this act, though. I wouldn't want to give my house up to some two-timing hussie. I'll bet she was one of the wives Ann Coulter was talking about, you know, those 9/11 whores. Personally, after a breakup I never give anything back unless I've at least peed on it.

The only thing I'm upset at this guy for is bringing down the property value of the neighborhood. It's going to be pretty hard selling houses in that area. How do you come back from explaining that? Right next door is where some psycho doctor blew his house up and died. Oh, look at those chrysanthemums though, huh? I mean, wow, what a garden.

But, now the guy is in heaven. Or, at least in the waiting line, he drew 8,574,674,342,895. The good news: Heaven has rent-control!