Israel: Wow they own

Everyday I've looked at the news on my Firefox news feeds and seen the same thing: World War 3 is starting. I personally have no fears about this, since I know Jesus has a safety bunker for people like me. But you sinners out there might be wondering how to stop WW3 from happening. Well let me inform you that there is a simple solution: Kill Bill, namely Bill Ahmad Ali-Shareefinibob.

We must get rid of the Islamic Fundamentalists in the world. In order to do this, we must get rid of those that harbor terrorists. In order to do this, we must stay the course with our Israeli allies. Let's face it, out of the choices we have, they happen to be the most even-tempered choice we've got. Nothing says calm like invading a country after two battle-hardened soldiers are kidnapped. Besides, no one wants to side with a force that shoots bottle rockets into a town. I mean, honestly, you call that a militia? American militias didn't even do that, we had, you know, tactics. The second a terrorist group comes out with a set of rules for engagement is when we'll think about siding with them. Of course, those rules will be in Arabic, so we'll just presume its gibberish and keep siding with the Israelis.

The middle east is in crisis right now. I know this because I've seen that exact headline on Fox News, MSNBC, CNN, CNN Headline News, CBS Evening News, NBC Nightly News, the News Hour with Jim Lehrer, and the Outdoor Life Network. Personally, I know my ideas will work. All we have to do is let Israel take over the middle east, one country at a time. By doing so we do a few things. We guarantee the right for Israel to exist, since, well, once they invade Arabs will welcome them with open arms. The second thing we will do is ensure that we've done our part to fulfill Revelations. There's nothing like a human letting know God how to speed up His process. By doing this we ensure ourselves a cozy spot in heaven. Unless, you know, God's real name is Allah, in which case we might be screwed. Of course, what are the odds of that being the truth?

So there you have it, the way to solve the problems in the Middle East. All we have to do is keep doing what we're doing. Oh, and Hezbollah, you're about to have your Hezboll-ass handed to you, kosher style!