Dialogue Part 1: Abraham and God

Dialogue 1: Abraham and God
G: Abe, buddy, whats up?
A: Oh...hey Haschem
G: Abe, how long have we been talking now? You can cut out the Haschem stuff already, you can use the informal by now.
A: ...Informal?
G: Yeah, just call me what my friends call me: G-Unit
A: Ok, umm...I can call you a lot of names, but I don't know if G-Unit is one of them
G: Just do it! Geez, you're such a square Abe.
A: Fine, I'll call you G-Unit. I swear.... Anyways, G-Unit, I've got some questions and concerns.
G: Abe, you always want to talk serious. When was the last time we talked shop?
A: Well G-Unit, it's always the same thing. You know what I've been up to, since you're, y'know, omniscient and all; and it's sort of hard to relate to ,"Oh, I've been busy running the universe."
G: Touche. So, what were your concerns
A: Well, first off, someone ate all of my pork, now I have none. Think you can make me some more pork, per chance?
G: Tell you what I'll do. From now on, no more pork allowed
A: Wait -- I love my daily allottment of pork though
G: Too bad. You're probably not used to it yet, but it's my job to make life miserable for my chosen people
A: Okay, that's my other concern. Why do we have to be the chosen people, and me the leader? It's sort of, well, it's kind of a lot of pressure. And, well...
G: Abe, I know you're not crying right now!
A: I'm sorry, I'm just under a lot of pressure, you know? I mean, for example, today Isaac asked me why he doesn't have new shoes for the fall. He said he saw some Babylonian kids with new shoes, and he wants to keep up with the Akhbar's. I told him we didn't have the money. Then he said, and I quote, "But Daaad, you're the leader of God's chosen people, couldn't you just make some more money?" Now, honestly G-man --
G: G-Unit
A: G-Unit, how am I supposed to respond to that?
G: Oh, boo-hoo. My name is Abraham and my son uses my position to try to justify making more money. Try being God, ruler of Heaven and Earth, then talk to me about shoes and crap
A: Okay, but that doesn't help me much. How do I explain you pwning us and still being your chosen people?
G: Well, life sucks sometimes Abe, k? Deal with it...
A: But that doesn't help me...
G: [Turns to imaginary voice] Oh, whats that Mom? I've got to go inside now? Chores? Oh man, ok, let me say goodbye to Abe. Look, Abe, my Mom's calling me
A: But you don't have a --
G: Okay, see ya later Abe!