After careful thought and review, I've decided to post the weird things that guys do and think as a preliminary guide to clear up any questions
Men are inherently bad at keeping female friends as just friends. We suck at it. This isn't always driven by a sexual motive like some women might think. We're not beasts with a one-track mind for lustful pleasures. We want companionship. But, we figure if you look good, we might as well combine talking time with making out time. We like to work efficiently. It doesn't help that most guys only hang out with girls they think are attractive. I honestly have no explanation for this, but it seems to be the truth without fail. I think it has something to do with survival of the human species. Most friendships end with the opposite sex, however, after years of mixed signals from women. Examples of mixed signals might include: smiling, waving, saying hello extra cheerfully, talking to us about serious things, or breathing while around us.
Men also like to insult each other. It's how we show our love for one another. I'd never call someone I didn't like an idiot. Women, if a guy calls you a pathetic loser you might want to think about his true feelings for you. In guy talk that's one step away from "Marry me, please!" We do this with our guy friends as well. Almost every guy does this. Well, except for theatre kids, but ask the army about what kind of people are in community theatre. The only way for a man to show he respects you is to make you feel like garbage. It's the way the world operates because, in James Brown's words, "This is a man's world!"
Most guys also hate shopping just to shop. Very few of us go out just to browse and maybe buy something. A real man can be in and out of any mall in 10 minutes or less. We know what we want, we take it, and we get the heck out. I think this might be why women aren't allowed to serve combat duty; they care too much about shooting (i.e. buying) the right person. Men hate shopping because it takes too much time, and, in a perfect world, companies would make clothes that lasted forever so we didn't need to buy new crap. Besides, jeans and a t-shirt are all-purpose clothes.
This generation of males are also really into video games. We figure, if nothing else, we'll be able to upstage the previous generation in a thumb-wrestling match after all of our strenuous exercise. Plus, nothing says fun like having sex with a hooker, paying her, then beating her to death so you can get your money back. Stupid pro, dough is for Joe.
I'm sure there are many other things that men do that are "weird" to those of the fairer sex. If you'd like a set of specific questions answered, please let me know and I will make a part two addressing any questions/concerns/comments. Post a comment with them, message me, or e-mail me at free.utah@gmail.com
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