Apollo,
I see you destroyed my one temple that people could visit. Not only that, but now I can't let them rebuild it until they conquer everything from Babylon to the Sinai. This is going to take forever to rebuild! I want my temple back! You Romans screwed me over, again. I'm proclaiming that one day you will worship my non-existent son and, most importantly, me. This isn't war, but just know I could defeat you if that did happen.
I suggest we settle my current anger, however, with a game of skee-ball. Winner take all. Plus, if I win I get your tickets. Oh, and when I get the Chinese finger trap, you won't get to use it with me. So, there! Yeah, what now sucka?!
The skee-ball master,
Yahweh
81 CE
Yahweh,
Not only do I accept your skee-ball challenge, but I guarantee a win for the Romans. You'll be as pathetic at skee-ball as your people are at spending money frivolously! The game is on, and victory shall be mine!
Peace up,
A-Town down
The concluding part of this important series of letters will be posted within two weeks time (we must translate the ancient aramaic and latin, which takes a lot of time)
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