Question of the Week 7-25-06

Question: What are your guilty pleasures?

Answers:
I have numerous guilty pleasures, but guilty is sort of a dirty word. I prefer to use the term "pleasures i'd be satisfied if no one knew about them". But thats long, so I've got to think of a new phrase. Maybe instead of guilty i could use "no contest pleasures"? Well, at any rate...

I guess my first guilty pleasure is listening to Justin Timberlake. Well, that and singing his songs. At the risk of sounding extra-fruity, I love listening to his music. I think I personally hit the notes better than he does, but I won't argue with him too much on that. I can't wait for his new album to come out. Hopefully it will come out around the same time as the Clipse's new album, so I only have to make one trip to the store. I guess I'm lazy, but whatever.

I'm also really into The Real World. This season I'm mostly into it because of Svetlana, the hot Jewish girl, but most of the time I'm also into the stories. I wish I could experience "The Real World", you know, living in a mansion with easy jobs and partying every night with hot women. Plus it'd be cool to be able to say to some people on the phone "Oh, _____ I've gotta go, one of my 6 roommates wants to use the phone. Yeah, well he/she really wants to use it. Nope, sorry ______ I've gotta go. (Hanging up phone) Okay, you too. Yep, okay, bye". It's like the perfect excuse to get away from a person on the phone.

Tennis. I love playing tennis. I put this as a guilty pleasure because I like it almost too much, and I really suck at playing. But, sucking is relative. Can I beat Serena Williams? Well, probably, she's a girl, and girls suck at sports. But could I beat Agassi? I don't know, probably not, but he's getting old. I could probably beat Nadal on grass, but on clay I'd be screwed. My biggest competition is probably Federer or Blake, but I'll just hit a ball really hard at Blake's neck, that'll teach him (I don't expect most of you to get that joke, so don't worry).

Bumps on noses, and big noses. They're soo hot. Sometimes I accidentally stare at people too long if they have a nice nose, and this tends to be embarassing. I'm sure they feel uncomfortable as well, since many people get made fun of for having a bump on their nose or a really big nose. But, ladies, if you catch me staring at your big/bumped nose, don't fret; you're hot. Don't be afraid to smile slyly, come up to me, put your nose right in front of my eyes and say "you like what you see?" That would be hot. Okay, it'd be weird, but some people are into weirder things. I wonder what Emily's up to?

Going to get my hair cut. I love it. It's scary how much I enjoy it. I don't care if anyone hot cuts my hair, either. I just enjoy getting my hair cut. Aren't the sounds of scissors slicing through your hard-grown hair just beautiful? Plus, if you get a shampoo with the hair cut, you will have an amazing time. Some of those shampooers put Korean pedicurists to shame. And their shampoo always smells so nice. If you haven't ever gotten your hair cut, you've gotta do it. It will change your life, trust me.

Vin Diesel. His acting blows, but how cool does he sound? If I were a celebrity I'd be Vin Diesel. Just that name screams "I could've been a pornstar, but I have morals!" Plus I read somewhere that Vin Diesel almost killed Chuck Norris, which is quite a feat indeed.

Almost any religious history. It's just interesting. Especially when you hear something that contradicts what you've always been told, and it actually makes sense. Let me tell you, when I heard that Abraham and Moses were from a "Warrior" class I was shocked. Now I get why they got Chuck Heston to play Moses. (Moses to Pharoahe): Let my people go [fires warning shots from uzi]

If I think of any other guilty pleasures I'll let ya know. E-mail your guilty pleasures to free.utah@gmail.com