The facts are solid

It should first be noted, before I begin this treatise, that I am in no way a sexist. If anyone is sexist, it's God, since He made men way more intelligent and physically sound than women. So, in the words of Brother Krikava, don't blame me, blame Jesus.

Women certainly engage in a weird way when compared to men. They seem to be quite emotional, as evidenced by any number of songs. It's unbelievably hard to tell a woman she's annoying, or an idiot, for example, and not have her blow up at you for saying so, even when she is, in fact, acting like an idiot. They often preface a conversation as such, "Oh, you can just tell me the truth, I won't get upset". Men, this is a trap, don't fall for it. If a woman says you can tell her the truth she is really saying "Lie your butt off to me and tell me I'm the most beautiful woman in the world, or else!" Once you tell a woman the truth, count on not being happy for a while, or possibly not hanging out with her anymore.

If you are able to hang out with her, and eventually want to go on a date, I wish you luck. Women often like to say they're "dating" you. In woman speak this means she is letting you take her out and pay for all of the meals and expensive things, and she'll think about kissing you, just like she'll think about kissing the other guy she's "dating". This doesn't constitute cheating, however, since it was known from the outset that you two were "just dating". Of course, to us men that means we're paying for everything, and we're therefore going out as a monogamous couple. Women will try to say you're being ignorant, that you're jealous, or they just "need some space" once you've entered the poor house and have run out of "spontaneous" ideas like making candles together or paying $150 for a meal.

Women also will never get the idea that they're not necessarily the center of their guy friend's unvierse, and that not every guy that is friends with them likes them simply because he's nice to her. Some guys are just nice. Some guys might even think you're attractive, and like flirting, but don't want anything more. Some guy friends do want to date you, this is true, but not all of them. The law of averages says that while some will want to date you, more will want to just be friends. It's okay. That doesn't mean you're ugly, or that you're boring, you're just not his type. Of course, it's a little perplexing as to why you're upset at not being romantically interesting to your friend, since you don't feel that way about him, either, even though you act the same way he does when you're with him.

Women, furthermore, do not need to shop so much. Women go out sometimes just to "window shop", as if looking at things you'll never be able to buy is fun. It's depressing to realize you're poor, and, yet, women don't understand this concept. It would be understandable if you plan on going back to get the item; but you don't. A fun day with a woman is going to look at clothes for 3 hours, possibly walking around a mall looking at nothing for 3 hours, or talking on the phone about clothes, the mall, or any other number of topics for 3 hours. And do I know where I came up with this 3 hour thing? No, but tell me you spend more than 3 hours with someone and actually enjoy it.

Lastly, why are women always eating, or talking about eating? Honestly, what's the point. Food isn't even that interesting. Cake is okay, but at a certain point even I get bored of cake. Women can apparently, talk about cake while eating cake. Women wish they lived in France when Marie Antoinette was alive. And it's always cake or ice cream. You can even gauge a woman's mood by what they have. Cake is good, ice cream is bad. I've never understood this, but I've done extensive research to prove it's validity.

That's it. I'm sure there's more to talk about involving women, so I'll do a part two. I'll also do one about guys if there's a need for it. Adios.