What to get that special girl in your life

Isn't it always a mystery to understand girls and to know what really attracts them? Now there is some trace of light in the path. New Scientist reports show that worthless gifts attract girls a lot and scientists have proved it using various mathematical modelling. So to attract girls, don't try to give them a gift that is "useful". Make sure its useless such as crabs from Seattle. What girl wouldnt love getting crabs from you?

You are not an inventor

Just because you come up with an idea does not mean you are an inventor. It means you have an idea. Congratulations, it's probably the first you've had in your life. But you're merely a person with an idea, and no more. Inventing means, you know, inventing something made of matter. An idea from thin air is not matter.

You're not an inventor, furthermore, if your idea has been being worked on for over a decade. If you hear about a new technology being worked on and say “I had that idea a long time ago!” that means you have no drive. Good job giving up on an innovative idea of your own. You should take the same approach to having kids (the last thing we need is another idiotic idea man).

And for those of you that put that dumb “Got an idea for an invention?” commercial on daytime TV I've got a new invention for you. It's called going out of business. I've seen that commercial since I was little. The same freaking commercial. Seriously, the well has run dry and there's no way people call you. If they do they should take their phone and wrap it around their neck. They, like your company, won't be missed.

Lastly, if you don't have a clue about the technology you want to use in your idea, don't think about becoming an inventor. Maybe you should focus on your great career as a fried food technician or professional window washer.

I'm not trying to tell you to give up your dreams. Well, unless they're unrealistic, then you should give up on them. I wouldn't tell a 300-pound man he could run a marathon, and I won't tell you you can be an inventor. Seriously...just stop saying you're an inventor...no one believes you.